


Forgotten Puzzles

by wingsofanillyrian



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, angsttttttt, let me know if yall want a part 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29700504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsofanillyrian/pseuds/wingsofanillyrian
Summary: Nesta and Cassian finally breach the topic of this unspoken thing between them. Something snaps... But Nesta can't accept it.
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Forgotten Puzzles

Nearly anywhere she went, Cassian was there, unless she was in her own rooms or the library. Only rarely was there a day that went by that she didn’t catch a glimpse of imposing wings or dark, curled hair through the shelves of books.

Curled up in her favorite chair, time passed quickly. Before she knew it, the sun was retreating over the picturesque mountains. Someone deep within the library cleared their throat. She sighed, knowing exactly who it was. She drained her tea, steeling herself for the inevitable encounter as she strode for the door.

Book in hand, Nesta navigated her way through the winding halls easily. It had only taken her two trips to the library to memorize the route. But gods, his scent distracted her. It addled her senses, even though she knew he trailed far enough behind that she shouldn’t be able to sense him. But she still did. And thinking on why that might be concerned her.

Turning left at a junction, she swore softly. Wrong way.

Cassian was casually leaning against the wall of the corridor she had come from as she passed again. “Lost?”

“No,” she snapped, glaring at him. “I know where I’m going.”

“If you say so.” He shoved off the wall, following after. “I’ll just make sure you get to your rooms in one piece. I have a meeting with Rhys anyway.”

“In his private chambers?” She retorted with all the venom she could muster. 

“Uh, yes.” Lie.

Fed up, Nesta paused. He dared a few more steps before stopping as well. She was sick of being monitored. Even if his presence had become somewhat of a comfort.

“Why is it,” Nesta asked, whirling on him, “You are always conveniently there when I encounter even the slightest inconvenience? Don’t you have better things to do?” He was supposedly general of Rhysand’s armies; why did he never seem to leave the red walls of the House of Wind? She had been here for weeks and yet he was there at every turn, as if waiting for her.

Cassian shifted, wings tucked in tight. As if to protect them. As if she could erupt at any moment. “Feyre and Rhys asked me to keep an eye on you. Make sure you were comfortable.”

“That’s it?” When he didn’t elaborate, she scoffed, turning on a heel and stalking down the hall. Gods, he was insufferable. 

“No, wait.” Cassian’s rough fingers grazed her wrist, as if he knew enough that actually putting a hand on her would result in loosing his favorite body part. “Just hold on.”

Inhaling deeply, he again reached for her hand. This time she let him take it, the solid warmth of his encompassing her slim fingers. She focused on the feel of his callouses sliding over the skin of her palm as he gathered his thoughts. It was an effort to keep from trembling at the contact. Her power roared through her veins, a wave crescendoing over her roiling mind. She could scarcely think over the noise, every nerve set aflame as if he had awoken some inner fire with that simple touch.

He rubbed circles on her palm, brows drawing together as if he was having the same inner struggle. Ages later, he spoke. “From the moment I met you in that manor across the wall, my life was all you.”

Nesta paused. What a vulnerable statement. One she would never let herself make, but… one that also rang true for her.

"I’m drawn to you,” he continued. “When I leave, I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t help but wonder what you’re doing. How you’re occupying your time. If you’re happy, or lonely, or smiling, or crying.”

Perhaps that was why he tried so hard to convince her to train with him. He had said that it was to prepare her for the war, to give her skills to defend herself and Elain. Perhaps it went deeper than that.

Nesta furrowed her brow, eyes still trained on their clasped hands. Of course it went deeper than that. Her thoughts often wandered to him as well, no matter how hard she fought against it. Reading was a distraction to keep her consciousness busy enough to stay away from him. No matter how she pushed back, her mind always circled back to a certain cocky grin. 

“Say something,” Cassian pleaded, unable to bear her silence. When she remained stoic, he squeezed her hand. “Please.”

Nesta turned his words over carefully, examining them from all angles. She concluded that he was sincere. His words held no hint of a lie. He had laid his soul bear, and would continue to do so - for her.

“I…” She swallowed the lump in her throat, looking up at him. Faelight illuminated the panes of his face and bounced off the scales of his Illyrian armor. Finally, she met his hazel eyes. Her breath left her in a whoosh.

Some foreign instinct came over her, focus narrowing to just the two of them. Before she knew what she was doing, she grabbed his collar and pulled him to her. The kiss was nothing at all like she expected. It was teeth and tongue, full of yearning and months of pent up passion. He wrapped an arm around her waist, moulding her to him. They fit together like two long lost pieces of a forgotten puzzle. Something tugged in her chest, a thread between them pulled taut. She pulled away, chest heaving and heart pounding. Was this-?

“Yes,” Cassian breathed, as if reading her mind. “A mating bond.”

Nesta stepped out of his arms. Her heart yearned to fall into him. Her head screamed at her to run. She had been broken so many times. She couldn’t let it happen again.

She pressed a hand to her chest, backing away. Confusion coated Cassian’s face, and he took a step toward her. Her face crumpled, pushing back tears as she shook her head.

“Nes,” he begged, reaching for her. Her book thumped to the floor, utterly forgotten. Tears brimming, she turned and fled back to her rooms.

She did not look back at the broken male once.


End file.
